An Unexpected Interlude

Isn't this picture beautiful? What it doesn't show captivates me.

Tonight I am going to school for the first time in ten days. Last week's ice storm locked I, my fiance and his parents into their rurally located house. It was rather unfortunate because I have midterms this week and I really could have used the class time, but it was fortunate in that I was an invalid anyway and there was little chance I would have been in class, ice storm or not. Starting on Monday I started feeling really sick. I couldn't stand up without my head aching and feeling as if I were going to faint. I made a doctor's appointment but of course the storm hit and no one could get anywhere.
If I hadn't felt so awful I think I would have enjoyed my mini-vacation more. Nancy, my amazing future mother in law, cooked and baked enough food for ten snowed in people. Jake and I played video games and cuddled. We watched SO many movies.
When I finally could get to the doctor on Friday afternoon, he pretty much told me there's not much he can do for me. I'm going to see a couple specialists but I'm not holding out much hope.
I've been a little depressed ever since. I've had to depend so much on other people for everything. I don't like that feeling of helplessness and dependence. What if I never get better? What if I'm always having to be waited on by someone?
I was really quiet after my doctor's appointment, and I've thought about it a lot since. I finally told Jake what was bothering me. How I feel like I'll only be a burden to him, and what if I never feel better? He was very sweet and comforting, but I just can't seem to shake my negativity. Still, I'm so grateful for Jake. I really feel like I CAN depend on him, and he never makes me feel like I'm less than I am. I don't have the words it takes to describe how much I love him, and his support. My life feels full of emotional ups and downs but Jake is a rock. I think he's definitely the more stable one in this pair. *grins*

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on my blog. I must've opened up a new blog post window half a dozen times since the last time I wrote, but the words wouldn't come. I think the winter blahs have affected my mood and creativity. I find myself longing for sunshine and warm summer breezes. The chill dampens my body and my heart. The snow and cold can't leave fast enough for me!

'Quel