Rambles

Well, three months isn't too bad of a hiatus, I think.

I believe that I take such long breaks because so much happens and I don't quite know how to deal with it so I put off writing about it...

I also think that I am just plain too hard on myself. I turn writing into a commandment. And I know there are writers out there who say you should write for so long every day... but that's not how I work. Everyone's creative process is different. I don't have to be Stephen King... I can just be me, and write the way I want.

I need a desk. (You know, need in a relative way). Ironically, I did my best writing at those awful desks at Taylor. There's something about curling up on a hard chair and focusing only on your words appearing on the screen in front of you...

I was thinking today about how there is a stigma associated with mental illness. If someone breaks their leg or gets cancer, people understand that. They wish them well, hope for their recovery and think nothing of a doctor medicating to assist the body in healing.
So why are people so squeamish about mental illness? Why is that when someone has trouble with something in their mind we have to be hush hush about it? I would tell you I have a cold in a heartbeat, but I am ashamed to admit that I struggle with my mental health.

I wish I had the right words. I wish I knew how to explain what exactly I am feeling about this subject, but I think I need to ponder it more. I just hate that things are the way they are. I hate that I don't feel comfortable admitting that I struggle, because I am afraid of being judged. We aren't that far away from a time when people with mental illnesses were hidden away in 'hospitals' so they wouldn't embarrass/contaminate the normal people around them. We've come a long way since then, but shame and stigma and judgement still exists. I hope every day for it to get better.

'Quel