Autumn Is Leaving

I almost think it's inevitable that you forget what it's like to be young when you grow older. And that makes me sad, because I want to be able to relate to younger people, even when I reach my forties and fifties.
Sometimes when I'm talking to adults I can tell that they just aren't getting it. Don't they remember what it was like to be reckless and rash? Can't they be a little more forgiving that I'm exploring the world my way? Sure I make mistakes and I won't be making the wisest decision every time but I don't need to be patronized either.

Don't ridicule me or laugh because you know best. You were young once.

I hope I don't forget this feeling. I don't want to. And yet I know precious few adults who are willing to treat the younger generation with the respect and freedom we crave.

I don't suppose I've expressed myself with extreme eloquence but I had to get out my thoughts on paper or screen. Typing it out helps me work it out in my head.

My head... which has suffered innumberable headaches lately. I think this is just a season of weariness. I hope it passes soon!

I spent yesterday and today working with Auggie. It's good work, hard but requiring very few words. Just the leather in my hand, the sound of his hooves and the subtle movements of my body to direct. My breath and his in the air. It's best when we're working as a team and he just knows what I want. Sometimes we falter and he fights my guidance. Or I confuse him. But we're getting better. I'll see him again tomorrow.

Thirteen books more to read before December 31st at midnight! I'm only slightly worried that I won't make it. I'm already farther this year than I was last year. And sometime in the first week of January I'll post my top ten favorite books of 2009.

Things are changing again. It seems just when everything gets settled something has to go and mess it all up. Several of my friends are graduating from Taylor this December and going on to other things. A few will be here for Spring semester but even they are looking forward to the future. I'm too sorrowful to cry. Has four years really passed so quickly? And at the same time I'm a little discouraged. I'll just be starting school in January, when that should have been the beginning of the end of my college career.

I'm too melancholy to follow that line tonight. Only cheery thoughts to go to bed on!

Enjoy the colder weather! ;-)

'Quel