Melancholy

melancholy (noun, plural)
sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

I am curled up on the couch, cozied up in his gray sweatshirt (see my thoughts? I miss him, I miss him, I'll be alright) and letting my somewhat melancholy mood wash over me. Through the windows I can see the graying sky. Lightning breaks through the clouds but the stubborn rain refuses to fall.

I hum softly, the lines of a song springing to mind. (one of his)

Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again

I run my thumb over the crisp pages of a new book, dissatisfied. I'd rather the comfort of a well loved novel, a story I already know by heart. Sometimes only the familiar will do. (the smell of my father's aftershave, the warmth of a dog by my side, my mother's kiss, his arms around me)

I am not unhappy precisely. In fact, I'm content to lie across the pale white couch, arms and legs sprawled out in a decidely ungraceful manner, thoughts pensive. I don't really know what I am. I can't catalog.

And when you're feeling all alone and you can't go on
Remember I am here
And when you think you've gone too far
I'll meet you where you are
My arms are open wide

There's a lot of sadness to be seen. Sometimes I can feel it like a tangible wound and my heart breaks. It's a pretty bad feeling seeing pain, knowing you are unable to do much about it except to hold the one who hurts.

As you can see, dear reader, I'm not really up for a cheerful account of my weekend. I'll be sure to oblige tomorrow.

'Quel