A Little Old Fashioned

It is 2:17 and I am still awake. I do not know why.
I came home from Jake's at around midnight, and after watching several hours of Monster I was more than ready to drop into bed and drift into dreamland. I called him to let him know I arrived safely and then snuggled into my nest with my kitten and Happy. I tossed and turned a bit.
I decided to finish my latest historical fiction novel.
Then my stomach started to growl. I ate two pieces of mushroom and cheese pizza.
That led to a half cup of Mountain Dew which I am regretting. Not because caffeine keeps me awake; because I have been so good about limiting my soda intake and now I've gone and ruined it.
Now I'm online.
And I am thinking. I think best at night.

You know what I have decided?
I am a little old fashioned, and furthermore, I am okay with that. I think I can resolve my desire to be a wife and mother with my sometimes outspoken feminist views. After all, in the beginning, feminism was simply about giving women a choice. The right to vote, the right to have their own property, the right to become more than chattel. People have taken it too far, but that's a topic for another day. My point is this: I choose my lifestyle. And what I want, more than anything, is a little farm of my own, a husband to take care of, children and a houseful of animals.

Maybe it's simplistic. Maybe it's not aiming high enough, but it's what I want.

I love school, and I will use my degree, but I will not be sad when the day comes that I am a full time mother.

I almost blush to write it, but being with a strong, caring and firm man makes my heart sing. I've been lucky enough to stumble upon a guy who cares enough about me to guide me, and love me with all he has.

It's taken me a long time to come to terms with what I want from life, but I'm no longer ashamed. I like being a little old fashioned! ;-)

I am excited for this weekend to start. I have a class I enjoy Thursday night, odds and ends of chores to complete, spring cleaning of my room, a road trip with Jake and his mom to a huge garage sale, church at the movies and new baby rats to cuddle.

There's a term in the medical field known as 'homeostasis'. Basically it means that the body and all its systems are functioning properly; everything is running smoothly. In psychology it is when a psychological balance has been met. Tension and drive are reduced. A calm pervades the mind.

I am in my own period of homeostasis. I am incredibly blessed.

'Quel