Even if I don't feel creative or the least bit inspired I will scribble my name over and over again, or little snips of nonsense conversation and thoughts, across the pages of my notebook.
I write for myself, mostly. It's a little selfish thing I treasure.
Sometimes I write to explain, or to work through a feeling, or to tell someone that I love them. Often I write to explore. In my writing I am free to make decisions I cannot in real life. I can travel to any place I choose, meet anyone I wish, and have whatever adventures I please. It's the best kind of freedom imaginable; the ability to open your mind and explore and just write.
I love to see the words flow from my pen. Whole cities and creatures and people I don't yet know appear as if by magic from the recesses of my mind.
To me, there is complete pleasure in black ink against a fresh white page.
You know what's funny? I didn't open my little blog to write those words. I had an entirely different agenda in mind but once I started writing the words just came. And it felt so good to just see where my thoughts took me. Such is the joy of writing.
I'm happy, and at peace.
Today I went to my brother's going away party. He'll be in Atlanta for a year; it will be strange that he is gone. Perhaps years of saying good bye to my father have made me a little numb, but I don't feel sadness at his parting. Mostly I am excited for him. He's getting to go on an adventure, to learn to be his own person and to make choices for himself. I know he'll do amazing things and so I can't grieve.
Lots of things make me happy these days. Jake's sweet kisses, the company of my dear friend Annaliese, the many expressions of love from my animals... but do you know that there are little things that brighten my day? One of these is organizing; I wish I could get paid to do it!
Right now, for instance, I have quite a pile of books and things to go through and catalogue, box and organize. And though it's late my fingers itch to get to work.
I adore the cleaning and setting right of items. You might not believe me, given the often messy state of my room, but I do love organizing everything just so.
Forgive me my sleepy ramblings. I wasn't ready for bed and thought a session with my journal might help me sort out my muddled brain. Wishing you all the best,
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