I'm not really sure what colour it is, but I know it isn't green. Green is the color of grass and new leaves, the colour of fresh starts and soft growing things. Not the colour of discontent.
Envy is probably one of the most despicable emotions a person can feel but I am going to admit something to you that hopefully you won't hold against me.
At this moment I am envious. It'll pass and true happiness for a friend will shine through but at the moment I'm having trouble.
Envy is teaching me something, though. I need to acknowledge my feelings, understand why I have them and then let them go.
Websters says envy is 'a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.'
I want to be content where I am. I know I'm in this place, at this time, for a reason and my path isn't anyone else's. But when I count the miles, the days and the time between I am jealous because what I want isn't what I'm getting.
I feel petty but honest. If you were harboring delusions about my good nature you've probably lost them now. :-p
Actually, I feel better now. Somehow writing helps me clear my head of the cobwebs and unwanted junk. I know I can be satisfied with what I have in life. But as we can all clearly see, not on my own strength!
'Quel
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