The Ninth Circle of Hell

According to Dante, the ninth circle of hell is punishment reserved for Satan. Apparently he so desires power and action that his reward is to be eternally still, frozen in a lake of ice. Instead of the traditional fire and brimstone Dante claims that the inner circle is freezing. Ice so cold it burns and torments.

I, for one, believe him.
I mean have you been outside?

This is what I was wearing as I traipsed outside to help Jackie feed and water thirteen horses at seven a.m. this morning; underwear, shorts, thermal leggings, toe socks, regular socks, tank top, t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, fleece hoodie, wool gloves, scarf, -4 protection boots, hat, coat.
And despite all of that I was frozen after ten steps. To make matters worse, in the course of watering the horses I spilled water on my hands. If I thought I knew cold before, I was sadly mistaken.
These are a few words I've selected to lend variety to my pain.
Frigid. Arctic. Bitter. Cutting. Glacial. Boreal. Siberian. Numbing. Piercing.

And then the four wheeler broke down. It's oh so fun to do chores without the four wheeler.

Is it to anyone's surprise that I came back in the house with the pre-stages of frostbite? I'm talking a thawing so painful I was in tears. Actual tears of agony.
Oh, plus an asthma attack. Whoops, forgot I had asthma, so as soon as I came in from the -7 degree weather (according to the weatherman it felt like -26. I say after 0 degrees there's no point in squabbling degrees) and the warm air hit me my lungs protested BIG time.

Okay. Here's what I want you to do. Go to your bathroom, fill a bathtub with water as cold as you can get it. Now dump a bajillion icecubes in there. Get in the tub. Oh, and don't forget to turn on every fan you own and face it right at your bare skin.
That's about half of what I felt.

Even better?
I get to do it again tonight AND tommorrow morning.
And I think most of you know me well enough to know I'm a tad dramatic, but trust me when I say that I did not exagerrate in the slightest as far as the above tale is concerned. And if you don't believe me show up at seven tomorrow morning and I'll prove it!
Uh huh. Thought not.

;-)

'Quel