The Midas Touch

Yeah, you think the gold thing was great. Except that the poor bastard lost everything he had because he was greedy. People think the Midas Touch is enviable.
Not me. He had it rough.

Point?
I'm getting that 'I screw up everything I touch' feeling.

I fought with Kris tonite. Way to say good-bye, right?
Kris, of all people. Probably one of the most relaxed people I know.
I knew.

I'm just sick of people not saying what they mean.
I'm sick of being deemed not worthy enough to know the effing truth.

I'm sick of being depressed.
And on top of that, I feel guilty for voicing my depressed thoughts, and then I feel more depressed.

I feel unsettled and despondent.

I'm stressed about money. I'm broke and I have yet to find a job.
What am I doing?

I'm terrified to leave this school and I'm angry.
There we have it. Honesty. Why do I get on others about the truth when I can't even be honest with myself?
I'm angry. I am 'rage against the inevitable and the world at large' angry.
I hate that I have to leave Jen and Annaliese and the people I know here.
I'm confused and upset about moving back.
I don't even know how to be there anymore. It's been two and a half years!

Why does this change feel more like quitting than moving on?
Like I said. The curse of the midas touch.
I'm screwing up, my friends.

And I feel trapped.

Dispirited,

'Quel