Saying Good Bye

I don't like change.
I don't actually know anyone who can say they do and seriously mean it.
It's human nature to resist new things, and as we learned in LSD last year, the older you get the harder it is to accept change. Even when it's going to be a good change (or we hope so, anyway) we are apprehensive because change means uncharted territory. No one but God to rely on for where to go next.
It's scary. And some days I just don't want to think about it.
Others, I'm excited for whatever comes next because it has the novelty of being unexpected.

Lately, I've been feeling a little dejected about leaving Taylor. This school is all I've known and everything I've been about-my life, for the past two and a half years. I feel like someone has ripped the map I had nicely charted right out of my hands. When I came here as an insecure and uncertain freshman in '06, I wouldn't have believed I'd be starting a new chapter middle of my junior year. I thought I'd be here all four years. Which makes moving on harder, but not impossible.

It's just wierd to have to say good bye so soon. I wasn't expecting to deal with this heartache until my senior year at least, and instead I'm fading quietly away while my classmates continue their lives here.

I don't regret my decision, and I can think of little I regret that happened while I was at Taylor. I only wish it could've lasted a little longer, especially considering all of the awesome people I've only just met this semester.

I'm also worried about moving back home. I want to do that, to save money and to help out my family while my dad's away, but I don't always feel like I belong there anymore. I'm almost stuck in this limbo between child and adult. I wish I could be financially independent, but it doesn't look to happen any time soon.

Right now I can't decide what's harder, good bye or hello.

I went out and took some pictures yesterday afternoon. It was gorgeous out and 'The Black Pearl' has been throwing me woeful glances (alright, I know I just gave an inaminate object feelings... sue me... maybe sometime I'll post the story I wrote about my camera's conversation with me.)
Enjoy!


'Taylor Lake'


'Sunset Clouds'


'Forlorn'


'Twisted'

Much love,

'Quel