Words and Dreams

I don't know why I've been so prolific in my writings lately! My blog and my stories have both benefitted from this sudden fit of inspiration.
I was about to feel bad for having updated so much in the past twenty four hours except that "this, too shall pass" (taken way, WAY out of context) and I may ignore my blog for a few weeks. So why not take advantage of my muse while I can?
And if you, dear reader, are overwhelmed, you don't have to go any farther. *grins*

And of course it may have something to do with my feelings of exultation.
I know that's not a word that's used much anymore but it fits my feelings precisely.

exultation: the act of exulting; lively or triumphant joy, as over success or victory.

It makes me wonder why we settle for words like 'happy' and 'sad' and 'angry' when we could use 'elation' or 'sorrow' or 'rage'. There's so much more color and description! If you tell me you're sad I don't know for sure if you mean 'bummed' or 'crushed', 'depleted' or 'bitter'.
I love words.

I still have a lot I could be bummed about (Spanish homework rings a bell) but the overall mood is one of perserverance and I'm gonna go with it while it lasts.

Alright, so I don't usually record my dreams, but the ones I had last night were so vivid. Which is sad, because it ended up turning into a nightmare.
In the first part I was married. And altho I've been married in my dreams before, this time it was to a guy I know now and that was a little disconcerting. I kept asking, 'How did this happen? Why don't I ever even remember us dating?'. It was like he could hear everything except for the question that I really wanted answered.

In the second part, I was walking out of Berg through the double doors and some guy goes, "Sheesh, you always look like you're angry at the world. Why do you have to be so evil?" Which is definitely an odd choice of words. Since when is being angry equated with being evil? Although I might've laughed or retaliated in the real world, I burst into tears in dream world and left.

It gets hazy after that but then I remember walking back to the dorm and talking on my phone. I was actually arguing with my dad. I was so upset that I said something childish like, "I don't want to talk to you ever again" and hung up.
At this point, I'd gotten to the grassy area in front of Berg when I happened to look over and see a guy holding a gun to some girl's head. He was yelling something and then his handgun turned into a machine gun and he killed her. (I didn't think dreams could be graphic but I can honestly say I hope I never have this dream again) After he killed the girl he went on a rampage, shooting everyone who was out on the lawn. Usually in dreams where something horrible is happening I'm unable to get help-can't run or I'm forced to watch. Instead I ran into the building and told whoever was at the front desk to call the police.
Again, it gets hazy but I remember that the shooter did not succeed in killing himself and he had this utterly horrible look on his face. Not rage or anything like that, just really deep, profound sadness. It was the wierdest thing. He looked at me and said, "This isn't what you think."

And then I woke up to Paramore's "Misery Business".

It was a very disturbing night, let me tell you. And waking up I was so confused... I'm always like that when my dreams feel especially real.

Hopefully I haven't creeped you out too much. ;-)

Much love,

'Quel